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It is perfectly fine to get Botox, lip injections, draw you a pair of lips, but heaven forbid you were born with lips that need NO embellishment. Then, there is something wrong with you. If you listen to naysayers, bigots, and racists, that is.

People who don’t care anything about you (who don’t even know YOU) and whose sole purpose is to attempt to chop anyone down to their size. Inferior. Small. Insignificant.

Don’t believe the hype. And don’t listen to bullshit. Simple and plain directive: Don’t listen to the bullshit.

The fullness of your lips or potato chips for that matter (your hips) is not a mistake. They have been crafted and carved by your Creator. YOU are NOT a mistake.

If there is something on my person that you don’t prefer, trust and believe it wasn’t crafted FOR you. Preferences and variety are what make life so interesting. It is alarming that people think they can be so caviler about another human being. Laughable really.

When I was a girl, about 5 or 6, I sucked in my bottom lip to make it appear smaller. My parents couldn’t protect their little girl from the messages that their precious child wasn’t good and perfect just as she appeared.

Campho-Phenique and I were besties. It tasted horrible, but it worked as I used to lick the corners of my mouth until they cracked and bled. And I held in the extra flesh of my bottom lip with my top teeth.In my young mind, this would make ‘them’ like me. I don’t remember if it was the tv, in public, over hearing adult conversations or in school…I suppose the hateful messages were everywhere.

In my young mind, this would make ‘them’ like me. I don’t remember if it was the tv, in public, over hearing adult conversations or in school…I suppose the hateful messages were everywhere.

I disliked my lips until I realized they were replicas of my mother’s lips. Those lips that kissed me softly, that spoke highly of me, encouraged by, that parted to let out the best laugh, that told me that I was loved by her.

As a matter of fact, I wasn’t told I was pretty while I was growing up. The message I was told, instead was that I was smart. This hurt my little girl feelings of course, but oh, how my brain and mind expanded! I didn’t look in the mirror unless something was ‘wrong’ or hurt.

There is no time table for self-acceptance. For some, it never happens. It is a personal journey. The Society also dictates that you are not supposed to value or see, let alone state, what is beautiful about yourself. I suppose that was my parent’s goal (probably their collective prayer), in addition to ‘let her rely on her brains, not her beauty. Let her be strong and self-reliant based on her intelligence’.

In hindsight, I congratulate my parents. In my parenting style of my step children, I have chosen to do both. When you know better, you do better. No judgment.

With that said, I have beautiful lips. I have other things on this here body that I deem beautiful, but these puppies are magical. Notice, that I didn’t ask for anyone’s permission OR co-sign?

  • This is an important gift to give to yourself.
  • What is right about you?
    I am not talking about a high brow answer either…nice personality, blah, blah.
  • What is physically attractive about you?
  • On your body?
  • Right now?
  • As it is?
    Go ahead, I will wait.

EVERY one has things that make them shine and stand apart. And it is glorious! All the differences should make us curious and interested about each other. About yourself.

Does my asking, what makes you physically different and dope make you feel weird? If so, ask yourself why? You are reading with your physical eyes and having a physical experience, so why not celebrate that which is here?

If so, ask yourself why? You are reading with your physical eyes and having a physical experience, so why not celebrate that which is here?

Outside validation is fleeting because it always has to continue to come in order for you to feel full (good about yourself). But, what if you dared to give it to yourself? Oh, imagine how confident you would feel. How wonderful!

I realize you were probably told that that would be conceited and who wants to be ‘that’ girl/guy? I hope you can feel that I am talking about a knowing (resolution, a grounded juiciness) vs. using it for manipulation or gain.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so behold your lovely self!

My lips, do the things that my mother’s┬álips did. As a coach’s lips, they also, call a thing a thing and help people find their own personal freedom/power. They are bullshit slayers!

I saw an IG post taken from MAC Cosmetics for fashion week for 2016 and the onslaught of racist, narrow (read: lip hate at fashion week 2016; width=small brained thinking) comments that followed. Did I read them? Not at all, being Black while American, we hear, so many things that you wouldn’t say to a dog (and what others pretend, we shouldn’t be affected by). Perhaps, because it serves ‘them’ to think and feel that we are not fully human. Then when we clap back, we are racially paranoid and angry. Excitedly, fingers are pointed and ‘justification’ ensues. Real life Twilight Zone, going on up in this piece. See?…bullshit…

Here is the thing, in the 90’s I was an international fashion forecaster in the fashion industry AND I was not the ‘ideal’. Based on this week’s MAC thread, I still am not. I was FASHION, the trendsetter, and the trend reporter, simultaneously at a time when there was an even bigger color | body type | ethnic feature divide. Seen and unseen.

Peep the game, though? Defer to the top of this scribe. Angelina Jolie lips are fine, but yours? Oh no, they are too big, too something…Not right? However AND, I have been rocking these lips for almost a half century, I made ya look AND you steady talking about how not right they are. Yeah. Okay.

Here is what I am coming to know. The more ignorant people freely share their views:

They are uncomfortable that I am comfortable in who I BE. It allows me to freely choose and affirm me. Thank you!

I will look in the mirror and look for what is right, awesome, sexy, sensual, pleasurable about me. It reminds me to be mindful and affirm who I am choosing to be.

A person who can say without shame or remorse: I am sexy, confident, glad to be in the skin I am in and I give two shits about what another thinks…is a dangerous human indeed.

Are you willing to look in your mirror and be dangerous with me?

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