“Girls can do WHATEVER boys can do” and from what I have seen from this society, this is precisely the problem. We say it, to empower ourselves, to assert our confidence and to not feel left out of the equation. A badass woman knows she can do anything, but in her own way.
The truth of the matter is boys and girls do not approach the same thing in the same way. This is a good thing. It is great! Otherwise, there would be no reason or need for a difference, right? We would all be walking around here unisex and that would boring!
I get it, in the effort to achieve equality, this is what we have strived for and yet there is a heavy implication of sameness that is dangerous. Our differences go unnoticed, uncelebrated and unappreciated by us: women. If you are not careful self-loathing plants seeds and weeds grow fast, killing every other living thing!
What I know for sure is that when you look outside yourself for recognition, you leak or deplete your power source/energy. My wish is for you to respect your differences. You have to know that your differences are sacred and that there is beauty there. Notice how you work best with your energy to achieve whatever you want; in the most natural way possible.
The challenge is undoing the way it was done: women climbed the corporate ladder with their shoulder pads, hairspray and never letting their emotions show. It was done using masculine energy. It is what we were told we had to be in order to be included. We had to be the same as men. This has left us depleted and not standing in our greatness (read: differences).
Masculinity is the energy of action. Femininity is the energy of conjuring. Both have merit, both have their place. Both are beautiful.
Both men and women use feminine and masculine energy, this makes sense right? We have both estrogen and testosterone but these hormones course through our bodies differently depending on which sex you are. Therefore, we should use the most natural energy that matches who we are. To try to do anything using the lens of the opposite sex is going to be very uncomfortable. Women have been doing this for so long that, it goes unnoticed by the mind. But not by the body or the emotions, they notice and they rebel.
Let us choose differently in the 21st century, we can not do the same things and expect different results. That is crazy making. As girl children, we are anatomically different than men, from our pelvic bones to our endocrine systems. To behave in sameness has allowed us to disconnect from our bodies, our emotions, our heart’s desire and our gut consciousness.
Being a Black woman in America, I know ALL about being separate from the whole, different, apart, hidden in plain sight, seen, yet unseen. In order to keep and harness my personal power, I had to find ways of validating my own existence, to find wholeness, while the world decided how to ‘be’ with me. I actively decide that how someone else feels about my womanness, about my being Black is none of my business. The second I do, I lose my personal power. No ONE is worth the price of my wholeness.
Do not conform or try to squish who you are into a box. Being a woman is a mighty thing. A righteous thing. Just as being a man contains these things. We all have lessons and experiences to bring to the table, which are delicious, some are bitter, all have merit.
I urge you to investigate your differentness, your femininity. It will look different from mine, perhaps from every other woman you know and don’t know. When you embrace how she (your femininity) displays, you will discover just how badass you are.
How you approach a task/project or love is ‘different’, don’t make this wrong about you, rather make peace with that. Embrace how you do things. Encourage girls to find her own way. Usually, the best way is through your example.
As long as you are good with your outcome, nothing else matters. Do your personal best, compete only with yourself, set your own goals and move about the cabin to your own rhythm. Block out the commentary, connect on all cylinders and go for it! Check out how Kacy Catanzaro kept her balance and did it her way: